My name is Carl Jamar Wilson, also known as independent wrestler, Sugar Dunkerton. To understand Do It For Brittany AKA DIFB, you have to understand my motivation.
I lost someone so dear to me this past Tuesday; I’m writing this on November 24th, 2011.
Her name was Brittany Nichole Berry, sister to another I love very dearly, Tiffany Berry. I met Brittany many years ago doing shows at Alternative Pro Wrestling in Royston, GA under the name of Kareem Abdul Jamar. She and her sister had their share of problems and vices, but radiated a light that just needed a nurturing heart to help it flourish.
I chose to be this heart.
Their problems became OUR problems for many years via text, direct conversation, whatever. In this time frame, I watched these young girls become young ladies right before my eyes and for all my imperfections and mistakes, it felt like I contributed something positive into their worlds. Influenced them to the correct path before the shackles of negativity bound them.
I feel like we’ve talked about everything and anything at some point and if a concerned ear and and true heart could bring them that comfort; I would be that.
So when I received a text message late Monday afternoon confirming the death of Brittany, I did not hold up well.
It wasn’t simply the loss that wounded me. It was the questions.
Why didn’t she come to me, her best friend?
What was so bad she felt she needed to take her own life?
Could I have stopped her?
Everyone has their opinion and idea as to what I could have done or not done. None of these answers brings her back. My smiles feel forced and getting out of bed felt like such a chore. I just needed a sign; some kind of reason to keep her alive and most of all; prevent this from happening as best as I could. If I could stop even one person from feeling like their problem was so overwhelming, they’d choose that escape, then the restless nights putting this together would be worth it.
My sorrow, anger, hope, determination, and pure LOVE has created DIFB. I posted on my Twitter (@sugardunkerton) before I decided on the official creation of DIFB what my mindset was going into this. The transcript is below….
“Can you hear me out there? Pay attention…..
A void now exists where a heart used to be. Help me fill it? If you have a problem, let’s make it OUR problem. I’ll shoulder the weight.
Yes I’m talking to YOU. We can crush the negative goal into positive diamonds, with understanding and empathy. Love. Just know I’m here.
I’m in much pain. But it’s because a single problem stayed just that, a single problem. Let’s spread the weight and be there for each other.
If not me, somebody. But don’t tell people what they wanna hear….tell them the truth and believe they’ll love you enough to face it.
I love you enough to say this. There are no aborted dreams, impossibilities, or insecurities when we share them together and care.” – via @sugardunkerton’s Twitter
DIFB is a self-help blog. It’s an outcry for your issues. It’s an island of positivity in a sea of the negative. It’s a movement so small and fragile I hope to grow into something larger and stronger; helping more and more anywhere and everywhere.
Most of all, it is one man’s attempt to not see a young life lost be for nothing.
I love you Brittany. For every life we can change and enrich, your life will always be eternal.
So I invite you to better yourself. Help someone better themselves. Speak to us. Let your problem become OUR problem. We can do this.
Thank you. – Carl Jamar Wilson